Human eats alligator!

Funny newspaper title

A human being has eaten an alligator in an area which is known to be a habitat of dangerous human beings.
The innocent victim was walking through the area when it was seized by the human and dragged into its natural habitat, a car park.
Thankfully the human released the alligator almost immediately, explaining that he is just a normal, happy go lucky, but somewhat short-sighted kidnapper, who mistook the alligator for one of his prey.
An alligator’s advice
An alligator had this advice for other alligators.
“Alligators should be cautious when approaching humans in car parks, particularly when they are feeding” he snapped.
‘If you see a human being feeding, do not approach them, they might interpret the friendly snapping of your jaws as a threat to their food supply” he snapped again.
“Can’t you just speak normally, instead of constantly snapping?” the Ridiculous Times inquired.
“No” he snapped
“They can also be dangerous places after dark, when humans are often mating” he added.
“What are the tell-tale signs that humans are mating? the Ridiculous Times inquired.
The alligator seemed rather embarrassed, but tried to answer the question.
“From a safe distance, observe their vehicle” he snapped coyly.
“Is it still?”
“Or is it moving?”
“A gentle undulation of the vehicle’s rear springs usually signifies that they are mating.”


Author: Paul Gresham

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