Happy Certain Time Of The Year, Mr. President Donald Trump

As that ‘certain time of the year’ approaches, I’m preparing my ‘Certain Time Of The Year’ card for President Donald Trump, because as I understand it Donald (if I may address him in such a familiar manner) has called for the return of the use of the ‘C’ word, the one that ends in ‘mas,’ at this time of year.
I call it the ‘Cmas’ word.
At the moment I’m busily amassing alternatives to the Cmas word, alternatives which by a process of deduction make it clear to the reader that I am referring to Cmas but don’t actually mention the word.
Not in full, anyway – not the complete raw, naked, uncensored version.
I feel that when Donald receives my ‘Certain Time Of The Year’ card he will, by employing his considerable powers of deduction, realise that I am referring to Cmas.
However, I do have backup, a failsafe mechanicism, checks and balances, in case he doesn’t ‘get it,’ to use a popular euphemism.
For example, I also plan to use the message ‘Warmest Greetings’ in my Cmas card to him.
However, at the moment I can’t decide whether to use this before or after ‘Certain Time Of Year’ – whether to use it as a headline or as a sub headline.
Let’s see how it looks.
Warmest Greetings!
At This Certain Time Of Year!
Alternatively, if that doesn’t work, how about this:
At This Certain Time Of Year!
Warmest Greetings!
However, I have to admit that ‘warmest greetings’ might create a problem, because it hints at ‘heat,’ as in the heat generated by an inter continental ballistic missile, and I don’t Donald to think that it’s a card from North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un referring to a seasonal ICBM attack by North Korea.

Author: Paul Gresham

Leave a Reply